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 AAML NJ Blog


  • 12 Apr 2022 5:34 AM | AAML NJ Administrator

    By Lesnevich, Marzano-Lesnevich, O'Cathain & O'Cathain

    As a full-blown crazy cat parent, it’s hard for me to believe that New Jersey courts consider our beloved pets (“fur babies,” if you will) as “chattel” or property.  Although New Jersey courts recognize that pets have a special subjective value, they are not bound to address custodial arrangements as they are in cases involving human children. However, New Jersey courts will honor an agreement between two parties with regards to actual ownership of or time-sharing with a formerly shared pet.

    In Houseman v. Dare, the trial court initially found that pets are personal property that lack the unique value essential to an award of specific performance (in this case, actual ownership as opposed to the distribution of the property’s monetary value). Therefore, the trial court denied Plaintiff’s request to enforce an oral agreement between her and her former fiancé, Defendant, in which Plaintiff claimed Defendant had agreed to give her possession of the dog upon their separation.  Instead, the trial court awarded Plaintiff a total of $1,500 for the purchase price of the dog, but denied her request for specific performance of the oral agreement.  

    In its review, the Appellate Division remanded the case back to the trial court. The Appellate Division rejected the trial court’s initial ruling that the parties’ oral agreement may not be specifically enforced by the court. In fact, the Appellate Division went to great lengths to liken pets to heirlooms, family treasures, or works of art – all tangible property that induce a strong sentimental attachment from their owners. The Appellate Division noted that money damages cannot compensate the injured party for the special subjective benefits derived from those possessions. Therefore, the request for specific performance as to ownership of a pet is appropriate and can certainly be addressed by the Family Part. The Appellate Division remanded the case back to the trial court and ordered that the trial court to conduct further proceedings on the existence of an oral agreement about ownership and possession of the dog and the propriety of specific performance as a remedy in the matter. After the case was remanded back to the trial court, the trial court reversed their initial decision and ordered that the parties alternate time with the dog every five (5) weeks. However, since custodial arrangements are still reserved solely for human children, the trial court could not award custody and, instead, awarded “alternating possession.”

    Because custody is not awarded when it comes to our beloved pets, the courts are not bound by the custody statutes and case law as with human children. New Jersey courts have not caught up to courts in other states such as Alaska wherein pet custodial arrangements are now being treated more like those of human children including joint decision making, shared visitation time, and the consideration of the pet’s best interest. Therefore, the “best interests” of your pet are not part of the court’s analysis – the court will only consider the special subjective value held by the human parties.  So, how do you protect your rights to share your fur baby in the event of a separation or divorce?

    Our number one tip is to formulate a written agreement with your partner.  This will ensure that your wishes are enforced by a New Jersey court.  Following the court’s holding in Houseman v. Dare, New Jersey courts will honor an agreement between two parties with regards to what happens with their pets upon separation.  However, absent an agreement, the courts will treat your beloved pet as though he or she were akin to a family heirloom – that means there is a possibility of shared possession, but same is not required.

    If you and your partner adopted or purchased your pet prior to marriage, and you both decide you want to enter into a prenuptial agreement before marriage, including your pet in your prenuptial agreement is certainly a good idea.  In the event you did not execute a written agreement prior to entering into your marriage, you can certainly address who retains your pet in settlement discussions.

    Originally published on January 19, 2021. Link here.

  • 4 Apr 2022 11:03 AM | AAML NJ Administrator

    By Sharon L. Klein, Senior Vice President and Head of National Divorce Advisory Practice | Wilmington Trust, AAML NJ Silver Sponsor

    Tax season is intimidating enough for clients without the added burden of navigating it through divorce. In this month’s Family Lawyer Magazine monthly tip, Sharon Klein shares what those maneuvering through divorce need to know before they file.

    Link here to monthly tip.

    For more information, reach out to Sharon L. Klein, Head of Wilmington Trust’s National Divorce Advisory Practice at 212-415-0531 or sklein@wilmingtontrust.com.

  • 1 Apr 2022 4:05 AM | AAML NJ Administrator

    By Chris Beck | Soberlink, AAML NJ Bronze Sponsor

    Nearly every day, matrimonial law practitioners work with people whose most intimate relationships have deteriorated to a point where parties’ emotions alternate from disappointment to anger and from sorrow to perhaps fear. This is acutely evident when clients have to navigate matters involving child custody and visitation issues – a course made that much more difficult when one parent struggles with alcohol abuse

    One of the most difficult hurdles to overcome in any Family Law proceeding is reaching a parenting-time agreement when one of the parties has a history of misusing alcohol. Settling custodial and visitation issues is further complicated when one parent’s distrust of the other is fueled by their fear that alcohol misuse will endanger the child during unsupervised visits.  

    Whether you represent the concerned party who is fearful for their child’s safety during a co-parent’s visitation or you represent the parent struggling with alcohol misuse, all hope – of your client experiencing peace of mind or regaining trust – is not lost. Despite what may appear to be the crux of an impasse during settlement negotiations or litigation, a mutually convenient and proven solution that offers streamlined litigation, peace of mind, and improved child safety is available – remote alcohol monitoring.

    This article will discuss:

    • Overcoming the Challenge of Assuring the Child’s Continued Contact with Both Parents
    • Accepting Responsibility and Rebuilding Trust
    • Remote Alcohol Monitoring as Best Evidence
    Ensuring the Child Maintains Continued Contact with Both Parents

    As outlined by New Jersey law, it is crucial in custody and alcohol cases that children maintain a healthy relationship with both parents: 

    “Declares that it is in the public policy of this State to assure minor children of frequent and continuing contact with both parents after the parents have separated or dissolved their marriage and that it is in the public interest to encourage parents to share the rights and responsibilities of child rearing..." (N.J. Stat. § 9:2-4).

    When alcohol abuse is introduced as an issue in a divorce or child custody dispute, the matter is investigated and not easily brushed aside. Family Court Judges, social workers, guardians-ad-litem, and psychologists involved in the case will focus on the alcohol abuse allegations as a genuine concern that will dominate the court’s assessment of what co-parenting arrangement is in the best interest of the child.

    The traditional remedy for these situations was a requirement that visitation with a noncustodial parent be supervised. It was thought that only with the oversight of another adult can the child be assured of the visiting parent’s sobriety. However, arranging for a visit to be supervised has proven to cause significant stress on the child’s parents and court’s child welfare support apparatus.

    Unless an agency official supervised the visitation, some families had no trusted family member to provide adequate supervision. Therefore, some visits would need to be canceled or rescheduled if the designated observer was unavailable. If a state employee or contracted therapist were assigned to provide visit supervision, the visits were necessarily short, infrequent, and often expensive.

    Fortunately, Soberlink, a comprehensive real-time remote alcohol monitoring system, was designed for co-parenting agreements involving alcohol abuse. Providing court-admissible, documented proof of sobriety during parenting time, Soberlink is trusted by Family Law practitioners to promote child safety and help address concerns of alcohol misuse before or during visitation. Family Court Judges and domestic litigation parties across the country use Soberlink’s wireless alcohol testing devices to monitor alcohol abstinence, assuring the children’s continued contact with both parents.

    Rebuilding Trust

    If your client struggles with alcohol addiction or Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD), the social barriers and stigma attached to the chronic illness can be painfully difficult to overcome. Moreover, concerned parties, family members, opposing counsel, and court personnel may doubt or distrust your client’s alleged sobriety. Soberlink allows your client to demonstrate their abstinence from alcohol while maintaining a relationship with their children and offering peace of mind to loved ones.

    As Soberlink supports accountability for sobriety, a client’s willingness to use a Soberlink remote breathalyzer can also be pivotal in helping clients accept responsibility for their actions and make changes in their child’s best interests. 

    For parents committed to abstaining from alcohol and rebuilding trust with their co-parent, Soberlink offers two monitoring programs for improved co-parenting agreements. Level 1: Parenting Time Only is designed with flexibility in mind, offering monitoring only during parenting time with schedules managed between both parties. Alternately, Level 2: Daily Testing is consistent monitoring, seven days a week, with schedules managed by Soberlink. 

    When trust has been broken, and child safety is in jeopardy, Soberlink is best utilized when a client begins their monitoring journey on Level 2, completely abstaining from alcohol use. Once a Level 2 client who is testing several times a day demonstrates consistent compliance, addiction professionals suggest stepping down to Level 1, where monitoring is only conducted during parenting time.

    The Family Court and Legal Community’s New Best Evidence – Remote Alcohol Monitoring

    Beyond providing court-admissible evidence and offering relief to concerned parties, Soberlink’s comprehensive alcohol monitoring system, which combines a professional-grade breathalyzer with wireless connectivity to send results in real-time, also incorporates tamper detection, adaptive facial recognition, and Advanced Reporting capabilities to ensure the integrity of each test. The system’s intuitive design has positioned Soberlink as the go-to solution for Family Law professionals looking to improve child safety and prove their client’s sobriety with the highest level of reliability and accuracy.

    Before systems like Soberlink revolutionized divorce litigation, witness testimony, or hearsay, was traditionally the only evidence a Family Court Judge could rely on to find facts relating to a party’s history of alcohol use. Rulings issued in a case involving one party’s alleged misuse of alcohol were based on what evidence the judge deemed most credible.

    The Family Court Judge no longer must rely on witness testimony or historical records of a party’s past behavior with alcohol. Soberlink provides reliable, real-time results at whatever time intervals the Court or the parties establish, and their Advanced Reporting feature allows courts to review a person’s test results at a glance.

    Conclusion

    Informed Family Court professionals in New Jersey, Family Law attorneys, and presiding judges may find it constructive to advise litigants of the benefits of Soberlink to eliminate any guesswork or conflicting reports about a parent’s alcohol misuse in an effort to uphold the best interests of a child.

  • 22 Mar 2022 8:34 AM | AAML NJ Administrator

    By Lesnevich, Marzano-Lesnevich, O'Cathain & O'Cathain

    It is certainly no secret that going through a divorce can be one of the most difficult periods in anyone’s life. Divorces can be emotionally-charged, expensive, and contentious. The family court system still encourages couples to work together, if they can, through divorce disputes. When spouses agree on more things than not, the process is more comfortable and smooth for everyone. It isn’t uncommon for spouses to find help through a mediator or neutral third person who can facilitate a conversation. 

    If you can tolerate your spouse enough and are willing to work with them, you may want to consider the benefits of a collaborative divorce.

    About Collaborative Divorce

    Collaborative divorce is a legal process that enables couples to negotiate the terms of their divorce, without having to fight intensely in court. Couples can use various negotiation and mediation tactics to reach a solution they are both somewhat happy with. Of course, there will be times when a spouse may have to compromise more than they’d like, but at least it guarantees some of their preferences will be considered. As compared to family court, where the judge will ultimately have the final say. Examples of topics the couple will have to discuss include:

    • Debt division
    • Property division
    • Child support
    • Spousal support
    • Child custody
    Is It Best For Your Divorce?

    Not all divorces will benefit from a collaborative divorce, simply because some spouses are just not able to cooperate together. Spouses who are less contentious with one another may want to think about a collaborative divorce, which is often less stress and money overall. 

    To learn more about whether a collaborative divorce is right for you, contact a reputable collaborative divorce family law firm, such as The McKinney Law Group. 

    Originally published on April 20, 2021.
  • 17 Mar 2022 10:30 AM | AAML NJ Administrator

    By Sharon L. Klein, Senior Vice President and Head of National Divorce Advisory Practice | Wilmington Trust, AAML NJ Silver Sponsor

    Are your clients’ assets protected from a future potential divorce? In her article just published by WealthCounsel, Sharon Klein outlines the five key components to a well-crafted plan and illustrates how a multi-pronged strategy is often the most powerful approach.

    Link to the article: Divorce & Asset Protection

    For more information, reach out to Sharon L. Klein, Head of Wilmington Trust’s National Divorce Advisory Practice at 212-415-0531 or sklein@wilmingtontrust.com.

  • 4 Mar 2022 10:30 AM | AAML NJ Administrator

    By Soberlink, AAML NJ Bronze Sponsor

    Perhaps the most emotionally charged area law is the area of matrimonial and family law. Besides the parties confronting the breakup of what once was a romantically inspired partnership, there are often the issues of the equitable distribution of accumulated assets, alimony (also known as spousal support), child support, childcare, custody, and visitation.

    The entire family relationship is in play, and it is not always hyperbole to state it is sometimes under attack by the parties, with the attorneys as the designated fighters in the courtroom ring and the judge as (hopefully) an impartial referee.

    While the attorney is presumably licensed and experienced in dealing with domestic legal issues, they are often called upon to play the part of de facto therapist in order to understand the emotional drives of the client and how they can impact not only their expectations of the outcome but the reasonability of the positions they wish to take in light of statutory law and current case holdings.

    There are times that a client will openly admit that they wish to use financial and custody/visitation issues as a hammer to punish the other spouse. There are also times where the client is not consciously aware that that is what they are doing.

    It is the family law attorney who must be cognizant of these emotional issues, to acknowledge them, to explain to the client that the best possible outcomes legally are those where the parties act both reasonably and responsibly in trying to achieve the best possible outcome in accordance with the rules and precedents to which they will be subject.

    The attorney is the client’s guide and protector, but, among the list of New Jersey Client Rights: 

    Clients have the right to make the final decision as to whether, when, and how to settle their cases and as to economic and other positions to be taken with respect to issues in the case.

    The experienced practitioner knows that sometimes they have to protect themselves by detailing their advice and instructions in writing to a client, having the client acknowledge the receipt of this advice and instructions, maintaining the decision to ignore or deviate from them.

    Equally important are the client’s responsibilities: 

    Clients shall not take any position in their matter for any improper purpose, such as to delay the proceeding or intentionally to increase the cost to other litigants.

    Alcohol Misuse and the Attorney/Client Relationship

    When alcohol misuse is involved by either one or both parties, issues can become more difficult to resolve. The attorney must have the experience and the ability to liaison with the requisite addiction professionals and be aware of the tools at their disposal to do justice for both parties, especially keeping in line with the best interests of the child principle.

    Alcohol Use Disorder is often weaponized in court, causing a decided conflict between the attorney and opposing counsel. In this instance, family law practitioners should educate clients on systems available to them that can help to empower both parents while maintaining child safety. 

    Helping Your Client by Ensuring Their Child's Safety in Cases Involving Alcohol Abuse

    As it states in New Jersey Children Juvenile and Domestic Relations Courts section 9-2-4(c) regarding the fitness of parents with respect to custodial and visitation awards: 

    A parent shall not be deemed unfit unless the parents' conduct has a substantial adverse effect on the child.

    Unfortunately, over 10% of children live with a parent that misuses alcohol.  

    In custody and alcohol litigation, many times, a parent will falsely accuse the other parent of substance misuse, and that is where technology can play a major part in proving the contrary and making it more likely that the accused party will be vindicated, resulting in a positive impact for them in a custody or visitation dispute.     

    As co-parenting often requires a great deal of trust, the attorney representing the party either struggling or accused of alcohol misuse should discuss what technology is available to them to prove their sobriety during parenting time, providing peace of mind to opposing counsel. 

    A convenient and discreet option is Soberlink, a comprehensive remote alcohol monitoring system that sends real-time results and helps parents improve accountability

    Soberlink consists of a wireless remote breathalyzer that uses facial recognition and tamper detection to ensure the integrity of each test. In addition, its Advanced Reporting capabilities provide simplified analysis of test results and court-admissible reports for streamlined litigation. Soberlink is widely trusted by thousands of family law practitioners across the United States, including in the State of New Jersey.

    Soberlink’s unique design allows for swift intervention for improved child safety in co-parenting arrangements and, in many cases, helps make visitations possible—especially unsupervised visitation

    Further, Soberlink can be a tool for managing recovery from alcohol abuse. The system is not just a tool of strategy and tactics in a court proceeding; it offers a way for parents to maintain sobriety so that they can improve their lives and the lives of their children, offering them a safe and stable home environment.

    The family lawyer’s role is much more multifaceted than it used to be with respect to establishing client expectations and accomplishing client goals. Today, the family law attorney is the legal advisor, the agent for therapeutic liaison, and the technology-savvy counselor.

  • 2 Mar 2022 12:30 PM | AAML NJ Administrator

    By Kriste J. Rodriguez, CPA/ABV | EisnerAmper, AAML NJ Gold Sponsor

    Overview of the Marital Balance Sheet

    One of the tasks as a forensic accountant is to prepare a marital balance sheet to help facilitate the division of the marital assets/liabilities. The assets and liabilities of the marital balance sheet may include, but are not limited to:

    • Real estate
    • Bank accounts
    • Automobiles, boats, etc.
    • Tangible property, including artwork, furniture, jewelry, collectible items, wine, etc.
    • Brokerage accounts including stocks, bonds and securities
    • Retirement accounts, including pensions, IRAs, profit sharing plans, 401(k)s, etc.
    • Value of a business interest
    • Employee benefits, such as restricted stock, stock options, etc.
    • Cash surrender value of life insurance policies
    • Liabilities include mortgages, lines of credit, notes payable personal loans and credit card liabilities

    The value of certain assets listed above, such as real estate, pensions, jewelry, and wine collections, are determined by appraisers that specialize in these areas. Kelly Blue Book or similar services are often used to determine the value for automobiles, boats, etc. Account statements are reviewed by the forensic accountant to determine the value of assets, such as bank, brokerage and retirement accounts. Forensic accountants are tasked with determining the value of an interest in businesses to help attorneys determine the parties share of the business value for equitable distribution.

    Failure to Consider Tax Implications Could Result in Inequitable Division of Assets

    Certain assets may appear to be equal in value on the surface. However, certain events could trigger tax consequences, which could result in very different values.  

    Take, for example, the marital residence. There is no issue if the parties agree to sell the marital home and split the proceeds.  However, if one of the parties remains in the house and subsequently sells the home, the tax consequences, specifically capital gains tax (if any), could impact the value to that person after it is sold.

    The assets in a brokerage account portfolio may not really be equal in value. A brokerage account with cash of $100,000 does not have the same value as a brokerage account with $100,000 of stock on an after-tax basis. Once the tax implications are considered on stock when it is sold, the values become very different. The gain on the sale of stock is the difference between the cost basis and the sale price. This gain will be either subject to long-term or short-term capital gains, resulting in an after-tax value less than $100,000. Similarly, if the parties have two brokerage accounts each with $100,000 of stock in the portfolio, the cost basis for each of those accounts could be very different, resulting in more or less taxes. The tax consequences should be considered so that the asset is equitably distributed.

    Retirement Account Division – Understanding the Rules

    The division of retirement assets, such as 401(k)s should be carefully considered. Not only are tax implications involved, but specific rules also apply to the transfer of certain retirement assets. Failure to comply with these rules could result in unintended consequences. For example, if one party is entitled to a portion of a 401(k)the money should not be withdrawn and transferred to the other party without executing the proper paperwork. Failure to do so could result in early withdrawal penalties and incomer tax consequences. A document known as a qualified domestic relations order or QDRO should be drafted, which specifies how the spouse will receive their portion of the 401(k) without triggering any income tax or early withdrawal penalties. Eligible withdrawals from a 401(k) will be taxed at ordinary income tax rates and should also be considered when dividing this asset during settlement. The use of a forensic accountant with income tax experience can help you avoid the pitfall that can be encountered with 401(k) distributions. 

    Liquidity of Assets

    The liquidity of an asset or the ability to turn the asset into cash is very important to consider when dividing up the marital estate. Cash in a savings or checking account is the most liquid asset. However, assets such as homes, wine collections and/or art collections are less liquid because it takes time to sell this type of asset. It is not practical for one spouse to receive mostly liquid assets and the other to receive primarily illiquid assets.  Significant cash flow problems could result for the person receiving the mostly illiquid asset portfolio. One of the parties may keep the marital residence, in exchange for fewer liquid assets. It is imperative, specifically when there is a lack of liquid assets to be received in settlement, that a proper budget is considered to cover the expense of maintaining the home and other lifestyle expenses.

    Life Insurance Policies 

    It is common in marital settlement agreements (MSA) for one of the parties to maintain a life insurance policy to cover their alimony and/or child support obligation should that party become deceased before their support obligation is over. The spouse that the insurance is obtained for should either be the owner or irrevocable beneficiary. This will ensure that the beneficiary will be notified if the premiums are not being paid or if there are any other issues with the policy. Failure to control the policy could result in a lapse or cancellation of the policy. As an alternative, the spouse that is maintaining the policy should provide proof of the policies on an agreed-upon time frame, whether quarterly, semi-annually or annually.

    Conclusion

    Any one of these common areas discussed above in a marital settlement agreement could cause significant financial loss and/or future financial distress if not addressed properly at settlement. Therefore, it is imperative to analyze the assets and consider all financial/tax consequences that each asset may have so that the division of the marital estate is fair and equitable.  

  • 18 Feb 2022 12:30 PM | AAML NJ Administrator

    By Christina Vinters, J.D., Family Law Mediator, “ex” Divorce Lawyer, and Author of Pathways to Amicable Divorce: Directions for the Beginning of Separation | Our Family Wizard, AAML NJ Silver Sponsor

    Looking for relatable marriage separation advice that doesn't leave you feeling overwhelmed? And wondering what should you not do during separation? Most people have heard horror stories about married couples turning on one another during divorce and would like to avoid that. An adversarial divorce could involve massive legal expenses, high levels of stress, and prolonged conflict which ends up harming the children.

    The good news is that there are ways of managing separation that will help your family make the transition during divorce from one household to two without destroying the functionality of your partnership as parents and your respective savings.

    Some of the steps you will need to take to get started on a healthy marriage separation may seem counter-intuitive to you. However, there are specific strategic advantages for each one. Keep in mind that de-escalation of conflict needs to be an ongoing priority. Keep reading for our conflict-free marriage separation advice.

    1. Treat Your Co-Parent as you Would Treat a Business Partner

    These are the basics of any decent relationship but are frequently overlooked or disregarded during separation. When you get separated you need to start a new relationship paradigm – that of business partners:

    1. Be courteous. 
    2. Answer emails, text messages, and phone calls. 
    3. Don’t badmouth your co-parent, especially not on social media or to your children. 
    4. Do what you say you’re going to do. 
    5. Communicate important information. 
    6. Provide requested documentation in a timely manner. 
    7. Do not treat the other person as the enemy. 
    8. Model desirable conduct. 
    9. Demonstrate that you can be trusted and that you do not want to participate in a race to the bottom in terms of your behavior. 

    You will have to continue to work together on the resolution of all of the issues arising out of the breakdown of your relationship, and if you have children, you will have to continue to work together and co-exist as parents of shared children for years to come (including attending birthday parties, graduations, weddings, and so forth). 

    It can be helpful to consider how you’d like to see your relationship years down the road – for example, you probably don’t want your children to have to worry about how to plan a wedding with both of you in attendance. Don’t do anything now in the heat of the moment that will create tension and unpleasantness for years to come.

    Separation can be an overwhelming time of intense mixed emotions, including sadness, guilt, denial, relief, anger, and fear, to name only a few. 

    Although it can be tempting in a moment of disagreement to let your anger flow, it's better in the long-term for your family if you take a deep breath and maintain your patience. 

    Sorting out the details of a legal separation usually takes longer than people hope and expect. Give both you and your partner time to understand the shifting needs of your family as you move from being a one-household family to a two-household family. 

    Handling your emotions in a constructive and respectful way is an important component of moving ahead on the path towards an amicable divorce.

    2. Don’t Make any Significant Changes

    If you have been paying for all of the family bills, continue to pay all of the bills until you and your partner have reached an agreement on how expenses will be handled going forward. 

    Neither of you should withdraw or spend significant sums of money without the consent of the other – in most cases, this is not the time to buy a new vehicle or take a trip to Las Vegas! 

    Some people find comfort in making arrangements with their financial institution to require both of their signatures for withdrawals from savings and investment accounts until they have divided their accounts.

    If there is no safety concern, do not move out with the children. The children are entitled to a stable environment and shouldn’t be moved around more than necessary. 

    Wait to move until you have worked out a parenting plan. However, safety is the first priority and you should obtain legal advice immediately if you believe that you need assistance with moving yourself and your children to a safe location.

    3. Discuss the Various Options for Pathways to an Amicable Divorce

    A little individual reading and research can be helpful before discussing your dispute resolution options. Familiarize yourself with mediation, mediation/ arbitration, and collaborative law, and then discuss the options so that you are on the same page in terms of pros and cons. 

    Discuss which option seems appropriate given the level of complexity of your issues and the state of your ability to communicate with each other at the present time.

    You may find that one person has no particular preference while the other person is drawn to a certain process option. It may or may not be difficult initially to agree on a process. 

    Take the path of least resistance and choose a process that you could each “live with” as a test run. You can then work on choosing the appropriate professional(s). The processes are voluntary so either of you could choose to end the initial process if you feel that it is not working well for you.

    4. Choose Your Family Mediator and/or Lawyer

    Regardless of which dispute resolution process you choose and even if you don’t hire a lawyer to represent you throughout the process, you should get independent legal advice from a family law lawyer at some point in the process, whether it is at the beginning, partway through negotiations, and/or before signing the draft Separation Agreement.

    Ask for a Referral

    Ask around for recommendations. Ask your friends, neighbors, co-workers, and family members for feedback regarding specific family law lawyers.

    You should find out what they liked about certain lawyers and what they didn’t like – this is important because it may be that the other person’s goals were quite different from yours and that the recommendation would be poorly suited to your situation.

    Consider Personality

    Don’t forget that lawyers are not one uniform kind of person, even within a certain area of law – some are peacemakers at heart while others enjoy the thrill of debate and banter; some are diplomatic and some take pride in their reputation for being a bulldog; some are more focused on the big picture of reaching overall resolution while others are focused on advocating for a win on every legal issue.

    Some might say that these are all strategies that can be employed by any lawyer depending on the situation, rather than being characteristics. Regardless, in my opinion, it is the rare individual who does an excellent job with both styles of dispute resolution.

    An amicable problem-solver and a tenacious litigator have very different skill sets, experiences, outlooks, and instincts. Most lawyers will have a dominant strength in one or the other style. Lawyers who also do a lot of work as mediators will often have a more resolution-oriented style.

    There is no right and wrong in terms of style and each style has merits in certain circumstances. The key is to choose the right style to help you reach your goals in your circumstances.

    If you and your partner are both reasonable people who disagree about some issues, you will probably benefit from a mediator or lawyer who will work towards a resolution with you without involving court processes.

    In this case, you will do well to research the professionals in your area who are trained in mediation or collaborative law.

    Consider Your Personal Scenario

    If you are in a relationship with someone who is a bully, an abuser, and/or has a serious personality disorder, mental health issue, or substance use problem that prevents him or her from engaging in rational discussion, you may do better with a family law litigator who takes an aggressive court-based approach.

    Trust Your Gut

    Lastly, given that we’re human, there’s no getting around that some professionals are more knowledgeable, better organized, more emotionally intelligent, and/or better communicators than others, attributes that don’t necessarily have anything to do with a person’s years of experience or hourly rate. Try to find out about these types of characteristics as well.

    Make your choice based on a trusted recommendation and some of your own research.

    5. See a Counselor and/or Doctor

    Separation can be devastating for families, whether or not there are children involved. There are many issues that arise with which a lawyer can’t help because they are not legal issues. 

    Our society has become overly focused on the law with respect to the breakdown of a family but the law is not equipped to provide all of the assistance that most families need. 

    Mental Health is Just as Important as Legal Counsel

    Serious emotional issues can arise for the separating couple and for the children, during the deterioration of the relationship and upon separation. These issues will not resolve themselves.

    There are many different approaches to counseling so research the options to decide which will work best for you and your family. Many people don’t want to be involved in the stereotype of counseling: flaky discussions reflecting back on their childhood. 

    There are now future-focused, pragmatic, behavior-based methods that can help with specifics, for example, appropriate communication for co-parenting or handling feelings when the other person re-partners.

    Unresolved emotional issues very frequently interfere with the resolution of legal issues. It can lead to one or both people causing long delays by refusing to engage in discussion. 

    Parties may get stuck on a particular issue, and/or create conflict in situations that should objectively be fairly uncomplicated.

    In addition, even if you and your partner are doing your best in good faith to move towards an agreement, it may be that you experience a significant amount of stress and anxiety during the process due to the many unknowns in your future. 

    Gathering and exchanging the necessary documentation and negotiating the terms of an agreement can take longer than people hope and expect. Unfortunately, when you are working towards an agreement, you need to move at the pace of the slower person. 

    Be Patient Even When it's Difficult

    One person will always be further ahead than the other in the grief cycle relating to the breakdown of the relationship and therefore will have to wait for the other person to become mentally ready to finalize the details of the separation by agreement. 

    The very nature of an agreement is that you need the other person to agree with you, which cannot be forced. If you are the person who is ready to move on and waiting for the other person to come around, you may need to deal with your anxiety with the help of a counselor or medical professional. There’s no remedy in law for anxiety.

    Provide Emotional Support and Resources for Your Children

    If you have children, there is no question that your children have been affected by your separation. They may seem fine. They may be acting out. Either way, allow them to express their emotions and get some professional assistance with the best way to help your children move forward.

    6. Wait to Start a New Relationship

    This suggestion is not based on moral considerations; it is a strategic issue. More often than not, a new boyfriend or girlfriend on the scene is massively disruptive to the negotiation process underway for the Separation Agreement.

    Regardless of which person ended the relationship, a new relationship can cause surprisingly intense emotions for the “replaced” partner. This often translates into complications such as some manner of a financial backlash, parenting altercations, and general escalation of disagreements.

    Depending on the nature of a new relationship, it can have bearing on whether and how much spousal support may be payable. 

    The new partner may also become a factor in the parenting arrangements for the children (for example, the new partner will be under scrutiny to determine whether his or her presence around the children is in their best interests).

    If you can manage to wait to start a new relationship until your Separation Agreement has been finalized, you will avoid one possible hot button issue that commonly derails originally amicable discussions.

    7. Start Your Dispute Resolution Process Sooner Rather Than Later

    I have found that the longer uncertainty continues, the more likely it is that communication will deteriorate and tension will escalate. Change is difficult for most people and particularly so when they are not in full control of the outcome. 

    You can reduce the fear and anxiety that arise for most people during separation by dealing with your issues promptly. 

    Don’t encourage your partner’s imagination to wander into worst-case scenarios by dragging your heels on starting the resolution process. 

    Conflict-Free Separation is Possible

    The separation will be challenging, but if you follow most of these 7 tips, you will give yourself the best chance of achieving a healthy and efficient resolution. It will be hard work and it will likely take all of your willpower but your future self will thank you for your effort.

  • 16 Feb 2022 10:30 AM | AAML NJ Administrator

    By Kelly Clifford, Vice President, Sales | LEAP Legal Software, AAML NJ Silver Sponsor

    There are plenty of ways New Jersey law firms can make their business different from the next. One way to set yourself apart from other businesses is by providing quality services to your clients. Legal professionals can utilize available technology in order to do so. 

    In 2015, Nielsen conducted a study that resulted in many insightful statistics about consumers. One of them being that two-thirds of all consumers choose to do business with entities that have been referred to them before. This means that the quality of services that New Jersey law firms provide could be the deciding factor for a client choosing your firm over another. 

    LEAP has been a legal technology leader for nearly thirty years, setting the standard for firms looking to maximize efficiency, productivity, and profitability. Here are 4 tips on mastering quality client services, from LEAP Support:

    1. Be Flexible

    Helping clients is more than answering emails and phone calls. When it comes to receiving information, clients’ preferences can vary and it’s important to accommodate them.

    How LEAP Support achieves this:  LEAP provides the following features at no additional cost: 

    • Unlimited access to support communication channels including online chat, email, phone, online case creation, and more
    • Online training courses via LEAP University 
    • A dedicated Practice Management Advisor as a fixed point of contact
    • Troubleshooting self-help guides and discussion spaces via LEAP Help Center 
    • Regular training webinars and videos explaining new and advanced software features

    How law firms can achieve this: LEAP offers several channels that law firms can use when communicating with your clients. With LEAP, law firms can: 

    • Call or text clients using the LEAP Mobile app 
    • Schedule video conference meetings using integrations with Microsoft Teams and Zoom
    • Give clients the ability to schedule appointments based on real-time availability
    • Collect client information with online intake forms
    • Share and collaborate on documents via a secure web portal
    2. Ask Questions

    Be sure to listen to your clients for feedback. One of the best ways to know if you are providing quality client service is to ask. 

    How LEAP Support achieves this: After each support case is resolved, the client that reported the case will receive a short survey asking for their thoughts on their experience with us. Each response is reviewed by a manager to determine if the case is resolved, or if further action is required.

    How your firm can achieve this:  Implementing a dependable feedback loop doesn’t need to be difficult. By creating a simple online survey for your clients to complete periodically you can avoid the interviewer effect. Regardless of the application, it’s important to view all feedback with an open mind and be willing to make necessary changes. 

    3. Always Reply

    This doesn’t mean you must respond to everyone at any hour of the day or night. Instead, focus on making sure that channels of communication are clear, and prompt. Taking more than a day to reply can turn away clients and prospects alike. 

    How LEAP Support achieves this: Replying to any communication in a timely manner is important at LEAP. The average time anyone can expect to wait for a chat support response is no more than 13 seconds. We prioritize ensuring that an experienced specialist is available to discuss any issue or question almost instantly. 

    For more complex issues, clients can submit a request via email or our website and will receive a response after more consideration. Clients can also use our online booking system to schedule meeting time that works best for them.

    How your firm can achieve this: Set up an automatic responder if an email inbox will be unmonitored for a period of time.  Establish client expectations by explaining when they will get a response from you. In addition, you can review and update any voicemail messages regularly.

    LEAP Web Portal is another option to allow your clients to get in touch without your direct involvement. Here are just a few of the many tools you can use:

    • Clients can utilize the booking calendar, powered by LawTap. This allows you to select your availability, then clients and prospects can request an in-person or remote appointment that can be confirmed or rescheduled as necessary.
    • Clients can utilize the inquiry page that lets prospects log their details, which you can access using the built-in Customer Relationship Management (CRM) dashboard. This allows you to record calls, send emails, and transfer the details directly into LEAP. 

    The LEAP Web Portal feature is available to every user at no additional cost. 

    4. Go Mobile

    In 2015 the ABA found that lawyers were doing 25% of their work away from the office, this number has likely increased due to the pandemic of 2020. It is increasingly important now more than ever to have access to everything on-the-go.

    How LEAP Support achieves this:  From ticket creation to internal messaging and document storage solutions, LEAP utilizes the cloud. This results in a seamless switch to working remotely for all LEAP users, so much so, that LEAP offers further support to help clients make their own pivot to working from home.

    How your firm can achieve this:  Consider how you access your most important data. How many times during the day do you need to access important case information while away from your desk? With LEAP, you can be sure that all your data is securely stored via Amazon Web Services . This means you can access all your matter information at any time, from anywhere, with one single sign-on. 

    Quality service is more than offering support to clients when things go wrong. It’s receiving a clear communication in a way that suits their needs, getting access to helpful knowledge, and dedicated specialists providing the best possible experience.

    Implementing quality service can be difficult, but instead of feeling stuck, know that there are legal technology tools available to help your New Jersey law firm grow in this area.  Contact us today and schedule a demonstration to see how LEAP, the #1 legal practice productivity solution, can help your law firm master quality client service.

  • 14 Feb 2022 12:32 PM | AAML NJ Administrator

    By Jeralyn Lawrence, AAML NJ Chapter President

    In January 2020, the New Jersey Appellate Division made an unexpectedly timely ruling on the use of video testimony in family matters being heard by the court. While the state's Court Rules neither explicitly allowed for nor prohibited video testimony, courts have made an array of rulings in different cases regarding the acceptability of witnesses appearing over a video link. In Pathri v. Kakarlamath (462 N.J. Super. 208 (App. Div. 2020)), the Appellate Division refined the factors for judges to consider when responding to a request to deliver testimony via video.

    Only a few short months later, the COVID-19 pandemic dramatically changed the way all cases, including family matters, are heard in the New Jersey courts. Even if that change is  temporary, the decision in Pathri helped to lay a firm foundation for the ensuing hearings. Whether due to health considerations or other concerns, the technical revolution in video technology made the court's decision timely and highly relevant for all practitioners in New Jersey. Many are hopeful that these technological advances remain in place indefinitely.

    Case Background

    The Pathri case concerned a family that had immigrated to the United States, arriving from India in 2007. In 2018, the husband filed for divorce shortly before returning to India; the wife then filed a counterclaim. She lived in Maryland with the couple's two children. Once the case was scheduled for trial in May 2019, the plaintiff sought an order granting permission for him to appear via video remote testimony, saying he was unable to obtain a visa to the United States to appear in court.

    While it does not appear that contradictory facts were presented indicating that the husband would in fact be able to receive a visa, the trial court rejected his motion after the wife opposed it. To this end, the court relied on Aqua Marine Products, Inc. v. Pathe Computer Control Systems Corp. (229 N.J. Super. 264 (App. Div. 1988)) a contract case in which a witness sought to present testimony via telephone link.

    The Aqua Marine court created a two-part test to determine whether remote testimony was acceptable:

    • Special situations in which there is either exigency or consent; and
    • When the witness’s identity and credentials are known.


    In the Pathri case, the judge ruled that her ability to determine the credibility of the plaintiff's testimony would be negatively affected by his lack of physical presence. The plaintiff then appealed, and the decision from the Appellate Division followed.

    A Modern Approach to Video Testimony

    In Pathri, the Appellate Division recognized the necessity of an approach to remote testimony that reflects the array of technological options that were impossible and, indeed, unimaginable, at the time of the Aqua Marine decision. The court began by noting that the Court Rules allow for testimony to be presented without physical presence, as in the case of capacity hearings or physicians providing trial testimony via videotape.

    Distinguishing the present case from Aqua Marine, the court noted that there had been no prior discovery of the witness who sought to testify remotely in that case. In addition, the only option offered for contemporaneous remote testimony was telephonic, without the additional opportunities that modern video technologies offer to allow thorough questioning and examination of the witness.

    In the Aqua Marine ruling, the court noted that it would be difficult to determine the credibility or even verify the identity of the speaker, given that they would appear only as a voice over the telephone. While modern technology eliminates some of the practical issues in Aqua Marine, there remain important reasons why courts may remain skeptical of video testimony, at least when other witnesses will appear in person at the same time. (When all witnesses appear via video, the same limitations are broadly shared.)

    The court did not overrule Aqua Marine, noting that the test presented in the case was correct. It referred to the Federal Rule of Civil Procedure 43(a), which allows testimony via live video transmission "for good cause in compelling circumstances and with appropriate safeguards..." a standard very similar to that applied in Aqua Marine. While the two texts use different language to describe those circumstances, the rationale presented is equivalent: That is, witnesses may testify remotely when the circumstances are appropriate.

    Pathri Test for Remote Appearances

    The court laid out seven factors for judges to consider when evaluating a request to appear via a live video link. These factors are:

    • The importance of the witness for the proceedings
    • The severity or sharpness of the factual dispute to which the witness will testify
    • Whether a judge or jury will find facts in the case
    • The costs of requiring physical appearance in court vs. receiving the testimony in another way
    • The delays caused by requiring physical appearance in court vs. allowing a live video transmission
    • Whether the witness’s inability to be present in court on the trial date was preventable or foreseeable
    • The difficulty for the witness of appearing in person


    The court noted that video testimony is most appropriate when witness testimony is not essential. The more heavily disputed the facts relayed by the witness, the greater the weight against live video testimony. In addition, in cases where a judge is finding facts rather than a jury, video testimony may be more acceptable, as judges are more experienced than laypeople in determining credibility and assessing the value of testimony.

    The court also noted that the interests of justice allow for video testimony that alleviates problems with scheduling, prevents delays or allows greater efficiency in the trial process. To this end, the court noted New Jersey Rule 1:1-2, which notes that the rules should be construed to "secure a just determination, simplicity in procedure, fairness in administration, and elimination of unjustifiable expense and delay." It emphasized that decisions about video testimony should serve the aims laid out in this rule.

    Further, the court did not distinguish testimony on matrimonial matters from other types of testimony. The Aqua Marine case reviewed as precedent was a contract dispute, while the court referenced telephonic hearings in guardianship procedures as a useful example.

    However, the court warned of attempts to avoid appearing at trial, noting that if the witness is responsible for their inability to be present, this may weigh against allowing video testimony. In light of these factors, the Pathri court sent the case back to the trial court for further consideration.

    Repercussions of the Pathri Decision

    The Appellate Division's ruling reflects a preference for obtaining testimony, even if imperfect, over not allowing testimony at all. The court noted the potential unfairness in disallowing remote testimony with the effect of leaving only one party to speak. However, the court also made room for many conditions on the testimony as well as consideration of multiple factors that could weigh against allowing such video appearances. The court also noted practical factors that judges may consider, such as the ability of the judge or jury to see the witness's face or body language as they speak or potentially requiring testimony to take place in a specific location.

    The court also requested the rules committee of the Supreme Court to consider the issue for formal inclusion. Since the Pathri ruling, live video testimony has become the norm, as have remote appearances by judges and members of the jury. The changes created by the COVID-19 pandemic built upon an existing technical framework and the decision in Pathri, allowing the courts to continue to function despite significant limitations on the ability of people to appear in person.

    Video Testimony After the Pandemic

    In March 2020, the Administrative Office of the Courts issued a directive allowing trials to proceed via Zoom, Microsoft Teams and other platforms, including divorce proceedings. Even as the pandemic waned and attorneys, litigants and judges returned to some in-person hearings, many matters have continued to proceed remotely. Judges have the authority to schedule in-person proceedings based on the circumstances or facts of each case.

    Remote trial testimony outside the pandemic may raise additional concerns for some of the reasons cited by the court. Witnesses may attempt to avoid more thorough scrutiny by making themselves absent for trial, leading to credibility determinations becoming more challenging. Technical glitches, certainly a factor in court-over-Zoom during the pandemic, could also make remote testimony an additional challenge during an in-person hearing. However, there are also significant positives to remote proceedings, such as convenience and in keeping costs down.

    Takeaways for Practitioners
    There are a number of issues with which practitioners may wrestle when dealing with requests for video testimony, especially as an exceptional matter. When representing a client or seeking to present a witness who is unavoidably overseas, engaged in work travel, located in a remote or inaccessible area (such as oil and gas workers) or unable to attend the trial for any reason, the ruling in Pathri provides clearer guidance as to the arguments that must be made. The Appellate Division provides seven factors that are relevant to a judicial decision,and presenting arguments for each of those factors would be beneficial to any practitioner seeking approval for remote testimony.

    When the opposing party seeks to present remote testimony, the court also provides useful factors for determining whether to oppose the application. If a practitioner is concerned that the opposing party is specifically seeking to avoid scrutiny or dodge questions of credibility, the Pathri factors provide space to emphasize these issues. The ruling, while providing a broader scope for video appearances, also presents clear issues of concern for the court.

    While video testimony and Zoom court have become the norm in the period following the Pathri decision, the elucidation of clear factors for video testimony and the recognition of modern technologies present a useful framework for all practitioners seeking or opposing permission to appear remotely.


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